Wednesday, February 9, 2011

The People In Their Infinite Wisdom

Watch as master equivocator and probable little person Frank "it's not health care reform, it's death care death taxes" Luntz leads an insightful discussion with Iowa Republican voters about President Obama's handling of the Egypt crisis on Hannity (read: legitimate). My favorite part? No, it's not 25 seconds in when Dr. Drew Pinsky look-a-like talks himself into a corner about how Obama "doesn't know what the details are" (Dr. Drew KNOWS the details, he watches Hannity) and ends his abortion of a statement by referring indistinctly to "what we need as a country." It isn't the Henry Paulson look-a-like picking up where Dr. Drew left off by exasperatedly declaring "[Obama] doesn't know what a republic is [PSSSSH]."

My favorite part of this video isn't the Mark Hamill circa Return of the Jedi look-a-like then claiming "no one seems to know what's going on" (irony!) within the Obama administration when it comes to Egypt, not the president, the secretary of state, the secretary of defense, the joint chiefs, the chef, NO ONE (Mark Hamill knows what's going on, he watches Hannity). I thought my favorite point might have been when two-chocolate-chips-short-of-a-cookie-zilla weighs in with her very, very profound assessment of President Obama's foreign policy, during which she proceeds to claim that the president's religious beliefs (muslin) "govern" his handling of Egypt. My favorite part wasn't when everyone around her grumbled in approval. My favorite part was not Frank Luntz's "my gosh" shock at the realization that half the room believes the president is a Muslim, nor was it his very earnest attempt to remind these corn-bred regular American folk that the big bad media (SR proudly included) is going to savage them as imbecilic hate-fueled stubborn unintelligent backwater dumbass goats.

My favorite part wasn't when Dr. Drew and a man allegedly named BRUCE relish their very clever assessment of the president when they claim that "intolerant liberalism" is his religion, only to be followed immediately by tolerant Marilyn's assertion that the president is, despite what he says, a freaking muslin I mean LOOK at him (muslin irony!). The part where Frank Luntz then innocently asks this frothing wolfpack "shouldn't we be backing the president? Isn't that the loyal thing to do [SNICKER]?" ALMOST became my favorite moment, and then Very Serious Mustache Man with the finger-point FTW declares that Obama is the second-coming of Neville Chamberlain because he's an appeaser of...Hosni Mubarak? Egyptian protesters? Bill Ayers? It doesn't matter because NAZIS. "Destruction!" Favorite moment.

But right after that came a true gem, my favoritest favorite part of this whole video, despite the brilliance that came before it. Little Sarah Palin-glasses Betty Sue from Davenport had been waiting patiently to chime in with her really, really important comment and when the boom mic finally swings her way, she offers a line so wrought with irony it can only be regarded as beautiful in its utter lack of self-awareness: "[Obama] gives textbooks answers" *shakes head and closes eyes in both disgust of her subject and pride in her wisdom*. THAT was by far my favorite part.

"He doesn't know what to do. He never knows what to do."

Me neither. But some folks might disagree.

Step into the rain:

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