Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Strike A Pose

Obama is depicted here gracing the Hill with his majestic presence, saying things like "Hey there" and "How are you." Meanwhile, third shift Capitol Police officer and part-time model got excited. Yo Darrell take it easy man. Put your guns away.

President Obama arrives at Capitol Hill to meet behind closed doors with the 41-member GOP Conference Tuesday.
AP Photo

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Wednesday, May 19, 2010

For The College Graduate

Starting your career in a troubled time is a challenge. But it is also a privilege. Because it's moments like these that force us to try harder, to dig deeper, and to discover gifts we never knew we had--to find the greatness that lies within each of us.
-President Barack Obama

From a graduation card my aunt and uncle gave me.

"So, don't ever shy away from that endeavor. Don't ever stop adding to your body of work."

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Mmm Mmm Good

During last night's exciting ACORN Vote Bowl, news of CNN anchor Campbell Brown's departure from the ratings-challenged network was released along with the identity of her replacement host, former New York governor Eliot Spitzer Dupree Mayflower Hookers. In tendering her resignation, Brown was refreshingly frank about her reasons for leaving the show of her namesake:

"The simple fact is that not enough people want to watch my program, and I owe it to myself and to CNN to get out of the way so that CNN can try something else."

Good for you Campbell. I've always been a fan of yours, even though I've never really listened to the words coming out of your mouth. You've always been the cougary Megyn Kelly, which is another way of saying I wouldn't know whether I'd want to bone you or just tape your tongue to the side of your mouth. Your fiery NO BULL I AM A SERIOUS REPORTER MMKAY? demeanor has always struck me as just painfully cute and endearing, like a middle-aged mom attempting to utilize her hitherto meaningless degree in English by writing novellas between chauffeuring the kids to lacrosse practice before yoga class. With your radiant smile, swept bangs brunette hair, your flawless porcelain skin, deep brown  eyes and your adorable squirrel cheeks, no man can help but fall in love with you immediately, mostly because you look like you would cook us something if we were hungry.  You are a piece Campbell Brown.  So much so that I have declared thee our third Attractive (I suppose former) Anchor & Cutie Correspondent honoree. You have joined good company.  God bless you darling. I will miss not watching you.


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Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Homeless Man Defeats Senile Census Worker

In Pennslabama.

Rep. Joe Sestak knocks longtime Sen. Arlen Specter out of the Dem primary in Pa. | Reuters Photo

Meanwhile in Kentucky, boy wonder charms hearts and minds of highly educated wealthy elite.

Dimocracy is awesome.

Rand Paul speaks to reporters.

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Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Things Fall Apart


My new electric razor (fixed)
My new pants (returned)
My old pants (hopefully fixed soon)
My shoe sole (irreparable?)
My watch (battery)
My umbrella (tornado. almost)
My grill (another tornado. sort of)
My check card (crack)
My SmarTrip card (crack)
My car (head gasket)
My team (sigh)

And yet I am grateful for all that is still holding together.

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Monday, May 10, 2010

Obama Uses Lincoln Letters As Toilet Paper

You will recall a few months back how SR, in coordination with Professor Glenn Beck of Yale University, leaked to the world at our own danger a picture of Obamer virtually spitting on the graves of American soldiers. I'm talking of course about his blatant disrespect of the Resolute desk, an American treasure, which he brutally subjected to the heels of his tyrant boots without regard.


No, your eyes do not deceive you. Obama is shown here farting on the cherished, sacred desk used by every American president since Jesus while Larry Summers sings "Strangers In The Night" and Rahm Emmanuel concentrates on remembering the image so he can use it later for "Rahm time."


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Thursday, May 6, 2010

Go Fuck Yourself, San Diego

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Moment of Zen - Rick Sanchez Ad-Libs a Tease
Daily Show Full EpisodesPolitical HumorTea Party

It's also necessary to point out that Rick congratulates Blitzer for another solid run of The Sitch before it airs after his show.  Aww Rick can't help it he's just so nervous around Wolf hehehe his tongue goes silly! Either that or he caught a reflection of his hair in the teleprompter. That always gets Tony Harris all flustered.

Video does not embed in Facebook.

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Monday, May 3, 2010

This Clown's Got Jokes

Dance monkey! I mean like, not in a racist way. Or anything.


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Step into the rain: secondrain.blogspot.com