Monday, April 20, 2009

Gingrich 2012

Normally I don't like making this web log a passive, unoriginal canvas of others' intellectual and analytical work. Surely I rely on various sources when crafting my own message, but in the end what you read here has been thoroughly processed in my mind with specific intention to reveal, enlighten, entertain, and bring immense satisfaction to myself. And every so often I'll do it before Keith Olbermann does.

But so often no more can be said than what has already been so deftly conveyed: an example.

Now that it's abundantly clear that Newt "What Grandpa is Like Off His Medication" Gingrich is running for president in 2012, we are now able to obtain, through the never-ending slew of TV appearances and interviews he is conducting, a glimpse of how lean [sic] and mean President Gingrich would run this noise.

-By militarily provoking a nuclear-armed North Korea.
-Giving that Commie scumbag Chavez a punch in the gut.
-Taking a shit on Ban Ki-Moon's lap.
-Ordering the execution of Somali pirates pretty much exactly the same way the President did.
-Only he'd level Mogadishu afterwards.
-And give the Joint Chiefs the "go" via tweet.
-Signing a Contract With America II (read the fine print)
-Never letting the terrorists know we won't torture.
-Never letting the terrorists know we torture so they can train to resist our torture.
-Even though We. Do. Not. Torture.
-Except when we do.
-Teabagging Nancy Pelosi.
-NOT getting a DOG.

Sounds to me like la solution parfaite to the Obama scourge.

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