As a dog lover through and through, I can't be more happy for Sasha and Malia Obama who just welcomed a new puppy, Bo, to the world's most secure poop yard.
Bo, a Portuguese water dog now living somewhat of a real life adaptation of a popular Nickelodeon movie, was a gift to the Obama family from Senator Edward Kennedy, a stalwart political ally of the president and lifelong lover of all things Portuguese water dogs (he owns several).
Bo's long anticipated arrival caps weeks of speculation over the breed, name, and sex of the dog, a media frenzy borne from our collective national affection for the aura of the idea of America's First Family which unites us in our love for our country and its culture and invariably transcends petty partisan politics.
New Gingrich, the fresh, new, exciting face [sic] and increasingly inevitable presidential frontrunner of the Republican party, apparently doesn't appreciate all of this undue attention being paid to uncovering the identity of FDOTUS.
“I hope that the girls love the dog,” Gingrich said on ABC’s “This Week.” “I hope the family – and all the pressure they’re going to be in – finds it useful. And I think that this whole thing is fairly stupid.”
The former Speaker of the House and current chairman of Old Cranky Smartasses of America (OCSA) went on to say, “And where they got [the dog] from – who cares? It’s a nice gesture on Senator Kennedy’s part to give it to them but who cares?”
Wow dude. Maybe the President can train Bo to fetch that stick from your ass.
Just imagine if they'd spelled the dog's name "Beau." Sean Hannity would probably dedicate a good fifteen minutes of programming to decry the "Frenching" of America.
UPDATE: It appears Bo Kennedy Obama's stay in the White House has ended earlier than expected. Freedom's Watch has reported that the less than one year old First Dog failed to pay $4,343 in back taxes and failed to disclose a new bone on his latest tax forms. The President has reportedly "reluctantly" accepted Bo's resignation. The First Dog's spokesdog could not be reached for comment.