Tuesday, August 11, 2009

ATTENTION: Official Memorandum on Secretarial Directive

Office of End of Life Counseling

Division of Labor & Productivity

Bureau of Civic Affairs

Department of Health & Human Services

Official Memorandum
September 16, 2015

Attention All Workers:

Due to revenue declines resulting from recent Purification campaign, the Secretary hereby directs all workers, through the power vested in the Office by U.S. Code Title 84, Chapter 26, Part B (Subpart J), Section IX, Paragraph 7, Clause ii, to implement the following Cost Saving Measures to generate greater Efficiency and Productivity:

-All applicants for mandatory Date of Death Determination hearing (DDD) must appear before Counsel of Final Affairs (CFA) within 3 months of YTBD DDD, as opposed to the previously mandated 5 months.

-Utility Threshold (UT) for persons aged 65 or older is to be lowered to 8.7 on Production Value Indicator (PVI).

-AssistedShare low-income subsidy program will now cover 23.5% of compelled euthanasia costs as opposed to previously mandated 34.5%, and 41% of compelled fetal abortion costs as opposed to previously mandated 45.6%

-All non-ACORN uncontracted workers must reduce daily compensated labor hours by 00:23 hours and increase daily uncompensated labor hours by 00:14 hours.

The aforementioned directives are to be implemented immediately and without delay by order of the Secretary of Health & Human Services in the service of His Excellency the Chancellor.

Henry A. Waxman, Director
Office of End of Life Counseling

Kathleen Sebelius, Secretary
Department of Health & Human Services

Barack H. Obama, Chancellor
United States of America

No comments:

Post a Comment