Thursday, October 1, 2009

Detained Terrorists Pay Less Than Future-Ninjas

A while back, Second Rain reported on the blatant and shameless NIMBYism exhibited by members of Congress with regards to relocating Guantanamo Bay detainees to their home states. SR also reported on the courageous and patriotic city of Hardin, MT whose city council voted to request the transfer of detainees into their 400+ bed yet criminally underused (!) Two Rivers Regional Detention Facility. SR endorsed this great idea, which would have provided a boost to the local economy by creating more jobs (the detention of alleged terrorists benefiting American capitalism: Score USA) for the downtrodden town.  This transfer of prisoners would not only justify the construction and superfluous funding of an empty tax-eating prison complex but would assist with the important task of shutting down Gitmo, serving justice, and bolstering American security.

Or we could just turn over the 50-acre facility to a secretive crack security paramilitary agency with a penchant for arriving at their destination in a dramatic manner characterized by various Hollywood depictions of black, tinted-window foreign luxury automobile motorcades so they can (after acquiring 5,000 more acres of sandbox) shoot big guns and play cops and robbers and blow shit up. For ten years.

Well I certainly can't blame Hardin. Hit hard economically and looking for an infusion of cash, I'm sure plenty small towns would invite a mysterious paramilitary organization with an eerily Orwellian name into their "backyards."

By approving the deal with American Police Force Organization, a California-based private security team which offers "surveillance, investigative, and military services across the world," the city will receive $2 million, it's very own deluxe munitions site, and will be renamed "New Tikrit."  A small price to pay for the security of our homeland at the able hands of the finest men and women of our...privately contracted security cabal. It's simple really: imprisoned criminals < the A-Team. Unfortunately the latter ≠ enhanced American security.

But avert your eyes and heads from this abortion of logic and failure of reason and instead stand firm in resisting Obama's armed czar-commanded clandestine civilian corps! Fight the shadow government!

Step into the rain:

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