Wednesday, January 14, 2009

A Licky Boom Boom Down

Canada has produced some genuine gifts to man. What more than maple syrup, French-Canadian strippers, and yours truly say you?

Well how about Shania Twain? If you disagree, I think you need some educating:

See now? Good. Happy to help.

Canada is also responsible for the electric wheelchair, ginger ale, the rollerskate, and the zipper (all invented by canucks). Then of course there's the world's greatest sport, hockey.

But nothing, I say nothing about the country of my birth can make its citizens more proud than Snow.

No, not the white powdery sky stuff (though they've got plenty of that and could probably make a case for patent rights). I mean the white badass funkmaster reggae artist from Ontario who peeked circa 1995. Check it mon:

This fast talkin', Jamaican-posin', Rastaman, whose stage name is not only appropriate given its subject's want of pigments, is also an acronym that stands for "Super Notorious Outrageous Whiteboy." In 1994 Snow (better known to his mother as Darrin O'Brien) took reggae to new heights with his hit single "Informer," featured above, in which with quick lips and totally raddd bifocals he seeks to clear up confusion about his roots, describes his hard upbringing in North York, ON, and details his brushups with Toronto's finest:

"People them say you come from Jamaica,
But me born an raised in the ghetto thats the one I want you to know,
Pure black people mon thats all I mon know.
Yeah me shoes are tear up an me toes used to show,
Where me born in on the one Toronto, so,

Informer, you no say daddy me snow me I'll go blame,
A licky boom boom down.
Detective mon said daddy me snow me stab someone down the lane,
A licky boom boom down."

You won't stop singing this for days. Your head will be snowed-in.

Canada's Poet Laureate.

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