Monday, September 21, 2009

Card Tricks

President Jimmy Carter's comments concerning the nature of opposition to President Obama, which he characterized as overwhelmingly racist, was wrong, in bad taste, and has no place in our politics. Playing the race card with such recklessness never advances one's argument.

Unless of course you're black.

Enter the Esteemed Chairman of Funk (and the RNC) Mr. Michael Steele yo yo YOO.

After loudly reprimanding President Carter for his irresponsible accusations of racism toward the political right, Mikey Steel smacked up Barry Obama and his cracka ass self (why you gotta call it da WHITE HOUSE Uncle Tom???) for keepin down the black man:

I found that to be stunning, that the White House would send word to one of only two black governors in the country not to run for re-election. And it just raised a curious point for me. I think...Governor Paterson's numbers are about the same as Governor Corzine's numbers, yet the president was with Governor Corzine.


And there you have it folks. The same bullshit race-baiting employed offensively by the left and defensively by the right, recycled and repackaged. The black chairman of the Republican National Committee has implied racist inclinations of a black president directed toward black governors. So not only does Obama hate whitey, he hates blacks too! God he HATES himself SO MUCH.

(Sorry that is so racist. Bobby Jindal is pretty much black too.)

Raindancers, follow me as I pan to camera 2 for a serious Beckian "We Have Lost Our Sense of Decency in this Country" moment here.

We've lost our sense of decency in this country. We have steered so far from what our own God -fearing parents, despite their own more overt prejudices, taught us about how to treat one another. Time and time again, we have forgotten how to appeal to our better angels. It's time we as a nation take a deep breath and begin to learn from one another again, from both our differences and our greater similarities. To start us on this process of healing, I present to you a wonderful educational video prepared by our favorite morning people at Fox & Friends, on which they discuss an important recent event in the history of black-white relations. Let's watch together:

I know you, as I do, feel so much better having watched that, especially in times like these, when a white man can call a black man a liar with impunity and a black man can rape a white underage female country singer in front a live audience.

There is so much to learn from the above video, but I'll begin with a few points.

0:06 - Just witness the seering, fucking righteous anger of host and Neo-Nazi Brian Kilmeade (right). I think we all feel what he feels.

0:30 - The "pimp's" observation is quite astute. "Silly Fox & Friends, pimping is for black people!"

0:35-0:56 - Host Steve Douchey er, Doocy's brief description of the scenario reveals his innocent ignorance about the "goings on" of "pimpdaddys" and "ho-sugars" and "dimebags" and "streetbeats." Steve Doocy is a family man. Steve Doocy is wholly unfamiliar with all that "dillywally."

1:01 - Gosh black people are such clever lawbreakers!

1:31 - "Hehehehe but you don't ACTUALLY work for Fox News hehehe, cuz, cuz, HAHA, cuz we only employ one pimp at a time!"

2;00 - I'm drawing a moral equivalence between your grandma's chinchilla and the cold-blooded murder of a Kodiak bear. Which are related to BLACK BEARS.

2:19 - "That's who THESE PEOPLE are." "Yeah." THESE PEOPLE.

Okay on second thought all of that was so fucking racist. If only there were someone to make enough noise about it...

Step into the rain:


  1. Link overload!

    Let's just all be like Stephen Colbert and not see race/color.

  2. Links are critical to both citing and humor.